THAT'S IT.
I'll do the 'meaner' one after this one...
Master of the House- VERSION ONE
-enter Sora-
Marluxia- Welcome, M'sieur
Sit yourself down
And meet the best
Innkeeper in town
-proud grin-
As for the rest,
All of 'em crooks
-waves it off-
Rooking their guests
And cooking the books.
Seldom do you see
-tries to act manly-
Honest men like me
A gent of good intent
Who's content to be..
Vexen- Master of the house
Doling out the charm
Ready with a handshake
And an open palm
Tells a saucy tale
Makes a little stir
Customers appreciate a bon-viveur
Marluxia- Glad to do a friend a favor
-shakes Vexen's hand-
Doesn't cost me to be nice
But nothing gets you nothing
Everything has got a little price!
-kills him-
Marluxia- Master of the house
Keeper of the zoo
Ready to relieve 'em
Of a sou or two
-gives Sora a glass of wine-
Watering the wine
Making up the weight
Pickin' up their knick-knacks
When they can't see straight
-takes his 'lucky charm'-
Everybody loves a landlord
Everybody's bosom friend
-hugs Axel-
I do whatever pleases
Jesus! Won't I bleed 'em in the end!
Marluxia, Zexion, Axel, and Lexaeus- Master of the house
Quick to catch yer eye
Never wants a passerby
To pass him by
Servant to the poor
Butler to the great
Comforter, philosopher,
And lifelong mate!
Everybody's boon companion
Everybody's chaperone!!
Marluxia- -shoves them off of him- But lock up your valises
Jesus! Won't I skin you to the bone! -holds his scythe threateningly-
-enter Riku-
Marluxia- Enter M'sieur
Lay down your load
Unlace your boots
And rest from the road
-picks up his keyblade-
This weighs a ton
Travel's a curse
But here we strive
To lighten your purse
-winks at Namine-
Here the goose is cooked
-puts Donald in the oven-
Here the fat is fried
-also shoves Goofy in-
And nothing's overlooked
Till I'm satisfied...
-smirk-
Zexion- Food beyond compare!
Food beyond belief!
Mix it in a mincer
And pretend it's beef..
-holds out something that looks like Fillet Minion-
Kidney of a horse..
Liver of a cat!
Filling up the sausages
With this and that!
-making pickled cucumber-
Marluxia- Residents are more than welcome
Bridal suite is occupied.
-winks-
Reasonable charges
Plus some little extras on the side!
-walks over to behind Namine, who draws as he notes-
Charge 'em for the lice
-Sora grabs his head-
Extra for the mice
-Riku headdesks-
Two percent for looking in the mirror twice
-Both fall backward onto the floor-
Here a little slice!
-Both spasm-
There a little cut
-twitch-
Three percent for sleeping with the window shut
-jump and flail-
When it comes to fixing prices
-Marluxia smiles like nothing is wrong-
There are a lot of tricks he knows
How it all increases
All those bits and pieces
Jesus! It's amazing how it grows!
-Riku and Sora 'dead'-
Lexaeus, Zexion, Axel, and Marluxia- Master of the house
Quick to catch yer eye
Never wants a passerby
To pass him by
Servant to the poor
Butler to the great
Comforter, philosopher,
And lifelong mate!
Everybody's boon companion
Gives 'em everything he's got!
Marluxia- -pushes them off with force- Dirty bunch of geezers
Jesus! What a sorry little lot!
-Larxene sighs and puts down her book and stands up-
Larxene- I used to dream
That I would meet a prince
But God Almighty,
Have you seen what's happened since?
-Zexion and Lexaeus look at eachother 'umm'ing-
Larxene- -mockingly-`Master of the house?'
Isn't worth me spit!
`Comforter, philosopher'
- and lifelong shit!
-Marluxia looks slightly ticked off, but remains composed-
Cunning little brain
-taps her head-
Regular Voltaire
Thinks he's quite a lover
But.. there's not much there
-lets her Kunai drop-
-Zexion giggles-
What a cruel trick of nature
Landed me with such a louse
-growls-
God knows how I've lasted
Living with this bastard in the house!
-throws a Kunai, which kills Lexaeus-
Zexion and Axel- Master of the house!
Larxene- Master and a half!
Zexion and Axel- Comforter, philosopher-
Larxene- -laughing- Ah, don't make me laugh!
Zexion and Axel- Servant to the poor. Butler to the great!
Larxene- Hypocrite and toady and inebriate!
Axel- Everybody bless the landlord!
Everybody bless his spouse!
Marluxia- -flips his hair making cherry blossom petals appear- Everybody raise a glass! -raises a wine bottle-
Larxene- Raise it up the master's ass! -raises a glass-
Everyone who isn't dead- Everybody raise a glass to the master of the house!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=RjK1javHD7g