The game of unwinding

[Quill]

Granted, you're now better at being exactly the same.

I wish I had a magic pen that let me draw things exactly the way they looked in my head.

[Zach]

Granted, but the pen has limited ink, and once it runs out, you can't get anymore.

I wish that I could tour Spain.

[Murray]

Granted, albeit you're touring it with a collection of unsavory characters.

I wish I could make Pactios.

[Zach]

Granted, but you can only make them when you're balancing a book on your head and thinking intently about Wisconsin.

I wish I didn't have to take Service Learning.

[Murray]

Granted, you are now liberated of your ability to learn.

I wish that I could punch a hole in the sun.

[Quill]

Granted...but you punched a hole in the sun. Way to doom the solar system, dumbass.

I wish I could just flip a switch and it would automatically clean my room whenever I wanted.

[ღMax]

Granted. But that switch malfunctions, and now it cleans electronic devices out of your room. Awesome.

I wish I didn't have to sleep.

[Quill]

Granted, your blood is now made of coffee.

I wish I wasn't tired when I need to be awake and hyper when I need to be asleep.

[Zach]

Granted. You now suffer from crippling and chronic narcolepsy.

I ask for wealth... I ask for fame... I ask for glory to shine on my name...

[Quill]

Granted, you are now an annoying tweenybopper celebrity. You're getting a cameo in the next Twilight movie.

I wish Twilight had never existed.

[Brittany]

Granted, but....you....there are actually no negative side-effects. You are a hero of the Universe.

I wish we didn't have to grow apart as we get older.

[Zach]

We don't. We are all now one giant conjoined twin.

I wish I knew the Nostalgia Critic in real life.

[ღMax]

Granted...but he doesn't like yu very much...he doesn't like anyone very much, really.

I wishI could get youtube to work...

[Zach]

Granted, but now every other site is glitched up.

I wish I was attractive.

[Murray]

Granted, but you are so attractive, that the committee of art decides to have you preserved in liquid carbonate for years to come.

I wish that my next wish will be so abysmally strange and nonsensical that no one can make enough sense of it that it can't be corrupted.